this post is called: i'm so sad, i'm so very, very sad

Hello there. It's been quite a while since I last blogged here so if you're wondering if I'm alive and well, yes I am very much alive so you don't have to get all worried and call the cops and everything..

who am I kidding? No one reads this blog HAHA

Anyway I've just started JC and it's been quite a crazy ride so far. I am definitely enjoying looking at the tall and older-looking secondary school students in the MRT, feeling all superior and thinking; "Wow. I am, like, older than them", and I love the freedom that we have here, especially compared to the time when I was in that self-righteous shit of a sec school(ok it wasn't that bad, but it was definitely self-righteous). I made some pretty amazing friends here, all of them are incredibly nice and weird and bruised and probably mentally ill in their own way. So all is great, BUT WHY AM I LOSING MY SANITY HERE??

Let's start with the fact that I am in JC in the first place. About a year ago, I kept telling myself "Why would I wanna go through 2 more years of classes that I don't give a shit about, only to graduate and go the conventional way like everyone else, have a shitty job, be stuck in an office and DIE A MISERABLE WOMAN?". Fast forward 1 year later, and here I am. Ok to be fair, a year ago, I got my life lessons from a stoner movie(Dazed and Confused) so I probably should never listen to myself, but I feel seriously stifled here. The only class that I like so far is Literature, while the others just make me wanna burn my head in an oven. Not to mention my dad who keeps telling me every single day that I should've taken the science stream because he wants me to be some kind of an engineer and shit. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, and I know he's trying to understand me, but he's not succeeding. The fact that he's even trying so hard is enough, though. I know I shouldn't complain so much, I am extremely lucky to even have the opportunity to study in Singapore, but it's burning me bit by bit. I guess I should just toughen up and bear with it for (less than) 2 years (and try not to be so freaking bipolar).

I keep holding on to this piece written by Zooey Deschanel, which is just incredibly relatable from start to end

If only high school were as simple as a teen movie. I would have loved to have been as single-minded as your typical teen heroine (must get in with the popular crowd, must get floppy-haired dude to take me to prom, etc.), but as a teenager I had a lot on my mind. For instance, infinity. How was I supposed to think about prom when I spent so much time thinking about the concept of infinity? Prom was OK, but infinity was interesting and terrifying. This made it a lot harder to think about the dudes with floppy hair.

I often liken my high school experience to the opening scene in Stardust Memories, where Woody Allen is sitting on an unmoving train with a lot of really miserable-looking people, when out the window he sees an identical train, only on this train, as I remember it, everyone is happy and attractive, and there is a young Sharon Stone wearing a feather boa, and there are men in sailor suits popping bottles of pink champagne. He can no longer accept his sad train existence now that he has seen the happy train, and he tries in vain to escape. The difference between Woody Allen and me was, I kind of liked my sad train. I saw that there was another version of high school that was being peddled by the media but I could never connect with it.

Of course, I went to an artsy sort of school, so things were a little bit different. It wasn’t unusual to find a young gentleman wrapped in a piece of duvetyne theater curtain secured with safety pins into a makeshift toga. And no big deal guys, but we had Guys Wear a Dress to School Day. But even surrounded by all these unicorns, I felt like the unicorniest. I just did not fit in.

One day my history teacher asked our class, “Do you guys think about infinity?” Most of my classmates gave him the you’re totally lame blank stare, but my mind started racing. “How does he know?!” I wondered. He said, “I used to think about infinity, and then I stopped.” He chuckled to himself. For me, this moment mapped a strange intersection of emotions: whereas I now knew I wasn’t alone, the people I wanted to connect with, my peers, seemed even farther away. I guess it was then that I realized I wasn’t required to LOVE high school, like the movies demanded; I didn’t have to want to go to prom and homecoming or be the center of the social world—I just had to make high school a place where I could get better at the things I wanted to do. And that’s exactly what I did.

One thing that is different is that my classmates are actually thoughtful people whom I feel comfortable with. I have a really good feeling about these people and although I still feel like a griffin(unicorns are lame), it's only the beginning and let's just say it's a pretty good start. I've never been good at the whole friendship thing. My sec school friends were so impossibly nice to me, but I was never a good friend to them as I should have been. I was always trapped in my own world so now I'm determined to change that.

Oh and of course there's still that Movie Teen in me who gushes over Cute Guy I Don't Know, who seems to be lurking everywhere in the lecture hall and around the school. The illusion would probably shatter the moment I get to know him, as it always does. And it's always fun to get involved in other people's love lives, as it's always hilarious and dramatic and eventually, so damn kawaii. I am actually a romantic, but only when it comes to other people. Does that make sense?

Things that have been keeping me sane:

1. Opening up. I've always been a closed book, which is probably why I implode sometimes. I just realized how great it feels to open up and just be completely honest.

2. Amanda Fucking Palmer

It doesn't really look like her but this was my first decent sketch in ages ok

She is what Patti Smith was to me last year. Not that I don't look up to Patti Smith anymore, it's just that Amanda Palmer is the Inspiring and Badass Female of the Year to me.

3. My sister. Of all the people in my life she is the one who knows me best(although I'm starting to doubt it because she just came home the other day with a bar of white chocolate, telling me it's my favorite and I still can't wrap my head around it because there's only one type of chocolate that I hate, and that is white chocolate. But don't tell her that. I still love her to bits). She just got out of her hole a bit as her exams are nearly over. We hung out again the other night and it was great. We have made it our tradition to go to Hooters with her boyfriend(who is now like a brother to me) every year and eat the shit out of those teriyaki wings(and those '911' wings that were not even that spicy). There was a Notting Hill movie screening at the bridge at Clarke Quay, but we found out about it too late and the people there started to get weird and drunk so we didn't stay long. It's also our thing to go through those tunnels. You know those tunnels. Those short ones that are pretty redundant but nonetheless loved by me. The buskers in those tunnels are usually the best ones around and I just love the feeling of walking there. You know those tunnels. Right?

4. The cave. The savannah cave. My hiding place. The one with a big statue of a dog for no reason at all. The same one with a big bald man who turned out to be a friendly goose. I wish I could just overtake that cave and turn it into my own art studio or something. Unfortunately my dad isn't Liam Neeson who could beat the shit out of that bald man so that he would surrender it to us.

So that's about it. I swear I'm not a nutcase.

*If you didn't get that already, the post title is actually a Scott Pilgrim reference

BEST . SONG. EVER

in the world of hybrids

Turkey: they're muslims, they're as cultured as asians, and they party like europeans

Here's a group journal that we wrote during the trip. 

TURKEY IS THE SHIT

DAY 0: JAKARTA - DOHA

* 9-hr flight to Doha + 2-hr transit at Doha + 4-hr flight to Istanbul

* Cassanova lost his hat on the plane (as expected). It's quite hilarious to think that someone would just snatch a fedora off a balding middle-aged man in a plane, so we're sticking with that story.

* NoRiYu and Nabila watched Little Miss Sunshine, Modern Family, and The Simpsons on the plane. A perfectly relevant assortment of entertainment. All of which fit the theme of the trip too well; namely, the adventures of an almost dysfunctional family.

* Nabila watched The Beach for the first time.

DAY 1: ISTANBUL, TURKEY

* Got picked up by the tour guide Serdar and the driver Hussein

* Lunch by the Sea of Marmara (Shish Kebab)

* Ottoman Palace --> Low-hanging chandeliers, indoor Hamam, the death of Sultan Amid II (1918)

* Fat cats

* Bosphorus Cruise --> NoRiYu was ill. Hassan, Saphira and Nabila enjoyed the view in the cold cold night. Military high school and private school by the strait (not sure if any kind of formal learning could take place in such a beautiful place).

* Dinner at Halic/Surbalic --> Saba fish + rice + chips. Rush rush rush.

* Walked to the theatre (dog on a roof)

* Sufi Dance --> Men in skirts and hats spinning around in a state of trance, as an effort to connect with God. 

DAY 2: ISTANBUL - BURSA - MT ULUDAG

* Headed to Bursa (went on a ferry, had some instant noodle, watched some seagulls)

* Party Bus --> Madam got a very naughty lap dance from Serdar, Nabila & NoRiYu showed off their LIMITED belly dancing skills

* Visited the Ulu Cami Mosque

* Raysa spilled boiling hot tea on NoRiYu. "Have you seen The Omen?" "Yes." "Stay away from that kid"

* Went to a bazaar

* Lunch at Hunkar, a really nice kebap place with a great view (one of the waiters hugged Nabila, said something in Turkish, then said "beautiful" aww)

* Another fat cat

* Silk House at Bursa (secret garden, stunning interior design)

* Rush rush rush to Mt Uludag

* MOTOR SKI!!!

* NoRiYu and that extra guy's motor broke down. Nabila, Saphira and Hassan had to share a motor. Couldn't climb up the hill. Got left behind in the cold cold night. Dun dun duun

* CREATURES OF THE NIGHT on top of Mt Uludag

* Extra guy left the area

* Nabila and Hassan explored the hotel. 8th floor --> there was a party which we weren't invited to. -2nd floor --> played foosball and air hockey. Rooftop --> swimming pool

DAY 3: BURSA - PERGAMON - PAMUKKALE

* Long drive to Pergamon (Bergama). Oooh the beauty of the countryside.

* Pit stop at Starbucks

* Peed into Starbucks cups

* Drove past a really nice town with colorful little buildings

* The poignant tale of our unlucky-in-love tour guide, titled The One That Got Away: High school sweethearts, naive and hopeful, were together for 8 years, engaged for 2 and a half years, separated 5 days before the wedding. Serdar fell into depression, continued working, and then 3 months later, he met us. Possible fling with NoRiYu? ;)

* PERGAMON --> The birthplace of parchment. Shopped a little, pooped a little.

* ASKLEPION --> The ruins of a hospital that accepted no mortal. Anyone with a life-threatening disease was thrown out. + The story of the man and the snakes. He has given up on life, so he refused to drink the milk that was supposed to heal him and put it outside. Snakes drank it, and somehow he was healed after drinking the venomous milk. Not sure if that's exactly how the story goes. Sorry, bad memory.

* Turquoise stone shopping

* Ottoman + Hassan + Big Madam + Nabila + The Brondong had a long talk about the Evil Eye, positive and negative energy, the evils of branding, etc while waiting for NoRiYu and Senior Yusuf who were busy shopping. Turned out that Serdar went to a university in Cappadocia, majoring in Tourist Guiding.

* Long drive to Pamukkale

* Listened to Turkish songs (Kiss Kiss)

* Project Galau: Hero by Enrique Iglesias, Linger by The Cranberries, Somebody I Used to Know by Gotye and The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

* At the hotel: thermal pool in our underwear + belly dancing + Turkish wine and cigs

DAY 4: PAMUKKALE - SELCUK - IZMIR

* The Brondong was hungover. Woke up exactly 5 min before departure, pretended nothing happened.

* COTTON CASTLE + HIERAPOLIS --> Rock formation and hot spring. Rumor has it the water has a healing power

* The Sexist Story of Cotton Castle: Once upon a time there was an unnamed ugly girl in Pamukkale. Her uglyness is so severe that no man wanted to be with her. One day she was walking around, looking for fresh air and mourning about her tragic situation. Little did she know, that walk was a gateway to a miracle that was about to change her life forever. As she was strolling by the empty countryside, she tripped and fell into a pool. She fainted for hours and hours. Time flew like the wind, and Ugly Girl remained unconscious through the break of dawn and the setting of the sun. Eventually she was found and rescued.. by a handsome prince, no less. She woke up looking into the deep blue eyes of a gentleman. Something was wrong, she thought. In his eyes there was no sign of disgust, no sign of repulsion. Instead she caught a glimpse of admiration, and if possible; love. Both of which were alien to her. She looked deeper into those sympathetic eyes and saw the reflection of a woman; a true beauty. She lingered, admiring the stunning features of the dame. Unbeknownst to her it was her own reflection looking back at her, and it was that dame that the prince was looking at in fascination. That pool had unleashed who she truly was all along. That pool turned the insecure caterpillar into a majestic butterfly. That pool, and the area around it, is now called... Cotton Castle -.-

* Madam's wheel(from the wheelchair) came off...

* Headed to Selcuk

* Open buffet + train museum

* KIRCHILAR --> Fashion show + leather shopping. NoRiYu and Omar became instant models for the day. Crazy suit for Omar. Turned the place into a club. Hot male model + staff. One of the people there wanted to arrange a marriage between Nabila and his son Emrah.

* EPHESUS EXCAVATION --> Nike + Hermes + Medusa.

St John and Virgin Mary lived there. It was Virgin Mary's sanctuary, so to speak.

* Celsius Library - Right in front of a brothel. Complete with a tunnel connecting it to the brothel for sleazy men who were afraid of their wives.

* Nabila performed a short and terrible solo at the grand theatre

* Took a family sitcom photo in front of Ephesus.

* Dinner at the hotel in Izmir. Really small and secluded hotel.

DAY 5: IZMIR - CANAKKALE

* Tried to take a stroll around the area but it was freezing cold and raining

* Looooong drive to Troy

* LUNCH + BIG MADAM'S BDAY SURPRISE - Cami Yummy (the handsome and brooding waiter) told NoRiYu that she's beautiful.

* TROY - Nothing particularly interesting. Note to selves: watch the Brad Pitt movie one more time

* Bosphorus means "cow passage" - The legend goes that Zeus, the god of the gods, was a cassanova. Going against the laws of the universe, he made love with everything and anything within reach: objects, creatures, animals, mortals, etc. Hera, his wife,was incredibly jealous of this one girl that Zeus was cheating with. So Zeus turned the girl into a cow to cover up his indiscretion, and that cow tried in vain to escape Hera by swimming through the strait that is now known as Bosphorus.

* AT THE HOTEL - NoRiYu, Saphira and Nabila were talking about the appearance of a boy behind us, in Indonesian. He turned out to be Indonesian and heard everything. Oops.

* Stuck in the elevator with NoRiYu, Saphira, Nabila, Madam and The Little One

* THE BALCONY - NoRiYu + Saphira + Hassan + Nabila hung out in The Brondong's room + balcony. Seemed to spark something between NoRiYu and The Brondong. Dun dun duun. Bruno 2.0, definitely.

DAY 6: CANAKKALE - ISTANBUL

* "you escaped me last night"

* Long looong drive to Istanbul

* Foosball - Hassan+Nabila vs NoRiYu+Brondong. NoRiYu+Brondong won

* Back in Istanbul - went to Topkapi Palace(saw Moses' stick, Nabi Muhammad's beard and footprint, swords, etc etc), met Nina Bee, had some chestnuts

* Dinner at Halic again
* TURKISH CARPET - Went to a fancy carpet place that Liam Neeson once visited. The prices were like whoa, mom got a headache, we all sneaked off one by one. Nabila + Hassan + Saphira + Cassanova got to walk around the area, at night, and it was a beauty

* NYE gala dinner at crowne plaza

* Lots of overdressed rich people (or were we underdressed?)

* Nabila + Saphira + Hassan + NoRiYu + Cassanova danced the night away

* Senior Yusuf + Ottoman fell asleep before the countdown

DAY 7: ISTANBUL - DOHA -JAKARTA

* Haghia Sofia + Blue Mosque + Suleymaniye Mosque + grand bazaar

* Hassan + Nabila went off to buy the red hats. No one noticed. The bus proceeded to leave. Finally, Brondong(of all people) realized we were absent. Could've been a real smashing adventure if they had really left Nabila and Hassan behind.

* At the airport--> Brondong stayed cool. No hug no kiss nothing for noriyu :'(

* 12-hr transit at Doha was a series of hormedy(horror+comedy, go figure) happenings--> NoRiYu and Big Madam's room was double-booked, meaning that there were two arab men sleeping in their beds when we arrived in the middle of the night. Bravo. NoRiYu and Big Madam moved to Nabila and Saphira's room. Cassanova felt a tingly feeling in his room way down on the 3rd floor, suspected the room was haunted, ran all the way to Hassan's room, then slept at the lobby

* At the immigration--> Big Madam's face could not be detected for what seemed like ages. She never did get detected, but the guy finally decided to look past it.

* Home not so sweet home Jakarta + Singapore. 

I can honestly say that Turkey might actually be my favorite place in the world. The trip was much too short and it felt unfinished. I definitely feel that we need to go back one day. I would love to spend the days in Istanbul just walking along the streets with my camcorder and a sketchbook. I also need to check out Cappadocia and its underground cities. We didn't get to wander around and explore much because we were with a tour guide and had a fully packed itinerary to follow. It was my first time traveling with a tour and I wasn't so excited about that. Luckily our family was big enough that we didn't have to join other groups. It could've easily been just another tourist crap if it weren't for the little moments that had slipped out of the organized fun; all the drama, the honesty of our tour guide, the balcony talks, my aunt's saudade, the intense games of foosball, the nighttime explorations, random encounters with the locals and the spontaneous dancing and singing. It's impossible to have a normal time with this family of shitheads, and it's both a blessing and a curse. However in Turkey all I saw was blessings all the way. It is impossible to describe our journey in a blog post. All I can say is that I am truly inspired and nothing can stop me. It has even made me start writing. Maybe I do want to be a writer. Who knows, maybe this is the start of something wonderful in my life.

lamentations of the unemployed

While my friends are working and making money and stuff, I'm trapped in this really awkward period of time where I have absolutely nothing of importance to do but not enough free days to get a job. I'm leaving for Semarang in less than two weeks. It's my dad's hometown in Indonesia. It's not the most exciting place to be in but that's the beauty of it I guess. We haven't visited my dad's side of the family for far too long and I miss them like crazy. Semarang is a place where time stands still, not in a bad way of course. We're gonna stay at my grandma's, rent some DVDs with my uncle like we used to (only this time, we'll say NO to Wild Hogs and Ghost Rider), play with our little cousins that are probably not so little anymore, visit some haunted houses, and hang out with some alligator turtles and snakes... if they're still around. I heard from my dad that the sweet old snake owner got bitten by his own crocodile, so he had to get rid of all his reptiles. I'm not even joking.

After Semarang we're going to Yogyakarta and stay near the Borobudur with my grandma and cousins. I'm really excited to explore Java like we used to. Back when we were living in Indonesia, we never traveled overseas. Every holiday was spent covering every part of Java that was left for us to visit, and I enjoyed every minute of it. We're probably going to my late great grandmother's house in Klaten which, to me, was the coolest place in the world because everything in there was so supernatural. She had this old bed which supposedly repelled every non-family member that slept in it. I was told that one time, this stupid guy slept in that sacred bed and woke up in the paddy field right across the street. Again, I'm not even joking.

Then we're gonna head to Turkey with my mom's side of the family. Kind of a sharp turn from the whole low-key vacation thing we were going for, but I've always wanted to go to Turkey. It's also the first time in a really long time that we're traveling with the whole family(minus my cousin Icha) so I really have high hopes for it. Apart from that; it's Turkey oh god the ruins the snow the arts the culture and everything about it just the sole idea of simply being there is making me implode. O Turkey please be good to me. I am ready to be inspired.

BUT all of that is not gonna happen until 9 days from now. Meanwhile, I'm still this unemployed O  level graduate with nothing to do with her life. So these days I've been...

1. Exercising. 

This . is , impossible . I . know. Nabila Larasati Pranoto is exercising VOLUNTARILY. Somehow I have found the torturous process of running actually enjoyable and rewarding, and I've been doing it regularly now. Oh god I'm not turning into that person no let's move on.

2. Watching movies/reading.

LIFE OF PI IS A GEM, YOU GUYS*. I read the book when I was like 9 and didn't get any of it, but the movie has shown me what I was missing. So now I'm reading it again. I love the way Yann Martel addresses religions. There's this one line in the book that says "Hindus, in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God, are hat-wearing Muslims." You may not agree with that, but if you were in my position, you probably would. I'd like to write about this a little bit more, but I don't think this is the place for it.

Other stuff that I've been watching: 

Skyfall(not my cup of tea), 

Frankenweenie(crappy ending, really disappointing), 

Breaking Dawn Part 2(random story, random conflict, random ending, random tribespeople), 

Ruby Sparks(really love the concept)

and some old ones:

The Hangover 2(it's no wonder it didn't do that well, needless to say it's not nearly as good as the first one),

The Darjeeling Limited(hey i've always loved a good old road movie),

Qué tan lejos(how do you comment on a film like this without sounding pretentious? i'm just gonna say... it's hilarious),

Chasing Liberty (I don't care how cheesy it is, Matthew Goode is HOT)

My holiday readings:

some I have finished, some I am currently reading, others I am saving for the trip

*I definitely need to watch Life of Pi again because some people actually think it's a good idea to bring their little poltergeists to the movies(or anywhere, really) when it's NOT. It's NOT funny when your little devils scream and run around during the beautiful and QUIET sequences that Ang Lee has meticulously crafted. Someone needs to euthanize them. (okay this time I am kidding, mind you)

3. Watching/Reading An Idiot Abroad

Do I even have to start?

4. Hangin' out with ma palz.

lol yeah you don't care about that 

5. Eating

three words: double . freaking . dip

6. Making gifts

Here's a scrapbook that I made for my aunt, accompanied by a mix tape (BECAUSE I'M SO HIP). Each song/page represents a different side of her (WHOA SO DEEP)

about the whole revealing-her-real-age-on-the-front-cover thing... yeah she's not gonna be pleased

Dreams by The Cranberries

I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado

Just A Girl by No Doubt

People Have the Power by Patti Smith

AND

When You Were Young (Cover) by The Noisettes

Old Lady by Sinead O'Connor

After The Gold Rush by Neil Young

And this is a painting that I made for my grandma:

I'm working on another painting for my other grandma but it's not done yet

So that's that from The Fabulous Life of Nabila. I'll end off with an equally fabulous photo...

a love letter to an idiot

Dear Karl Pilkington,

Now that Series 3 has entered (and dominated) my life, I feel it necessary to express my feelings for you. Let's just cut to the chase: I love you. Ever since I discovered your existence, head like a fucking orange has become a very attractive feature in my eyes. Partial baldness has become the new Jesus abs, and your whiny bitch quality is just so endearing. I get a thrill watching you get beat up in a blind Thai boxing competition, and in Japan by a bunch of sumos, or in a Mongolian wrestling match. I love your occasional wisdom, as well as those low moments of your life when you thought leprechauns preferred to be called gnomes.. and that they were real.

Listen, you are a shithead. Everyone is, the only difference is that you're honest about it. And that is a true compliment. You point out the absurdities that other people are afraid to acknowledge. You say it as it is and you're not afraid to offend the people around you, and most of the time they don't get offended because that is just the magic of Karl Pilkington. It is truly amazing. An Idiot Abroad just goes against everything that TV programmes are, and it constantly baffles me that such badasses like you exist in the industry. Ricky Gervais once said that you are his gift to the world. What a wonderful gift it is and yes, you probably are the eighth wonder of the world, you round-headed, chimp-like buffoon.

(the sexiest thing on youtube)

I WISH I WERE YOU, KARL PILKINGTON

You . are . a . legend .

movie-talk: Ah Boys to Men Part 1

The (slightly overdone) opening virtual scene of Ah Boys to Men shows a very serious attack followed by a very serious mass killing, but in the midst of all the chaos, we are reminded of where we are; then comes a shot of "uncles" and "aunties" eating at a hawker centre exclaiming "eh what happen ah??" which then cuts to a shot of the soldiers, one of them muttering "walaoo the casino kena attack already cannot try our luck there". This ain't a Spielberg movie, this is A Singaporean Movie(this sentence only works if you ignore the less-than-quality special effects of Ah Boys to Men).

For those of you who don't know, every Singaporean boy is required to go for National Service once they've come of age. This is one of those things that make me glad that I'm a girl, despite the horrors of menstruation and childbirth. I'm all for female empowerment, but dammit you couldn't pay me enough to go for military training. The first-time recruits in the movie; the appealing but sometimes boring lead Ken Chow, the hair-flipping IP Man and my personal favorite Lo-Bang(because at this point, why not?), obviously have the same mentality. Let's not get into the formulaic "at the end of the day, so and so realized the true meaning of blah blah blah", or the slight propaganda of the whole thing, it was hell of a fun ride. From the Filipino maid gags to the brilliant sequence of the past recruits' attempts to go home, I couldn't stop laughing. It gets draggy once it focuses on the "plot" which no one really cares about. I cringed all the way through his breakup with the bland girlfriend. Every cheesy movie element was there. Rain? Check. Nighttime? Check. Dramatic screaming at thin air? Check. Random group of people in matching blue jackets offering the heartbroken lead a raincoat? Wait what? Who the hell were they anyway? Was it a product placement?? Well I never said it's a "good" movie but it's one of those things that, as Russell Brand puts it, "may not solve the inner turmoil and angst that you go through as a human soul, but it certainly is a lovely distraction". He was describing his movie Rock of Ages, not Ah Boys To Men, in case you're wondering. I'm just randomly quoting him. Speaking of Russell Brand, damn there's something about him. The way he speaks is just so bizarre and... spiritual, kind of. Is he a Buddhist?

Ok, sidetracked. Back to the movie.

There's nothing funnier than watching Singaporeans poke fun at themselves. The thing is Singaporeans are HILARIOUS. Singapore, while it might not look like it, has such a weird and wonderful culture that it's a waste if you take it too seriously. I love Jack Neo's movies so much for realizing that. They're not always in good taste, sometimes getting a little too stupid but to hell with it. They're freaking entertaining and my Singaporean friends agree with me on that.

Now that we've reached this point, you've given me no choice. Here's a piece of propaganda for you.

Again, why the hell not?

in your head

i've been feeling so fucking empty these days, floating through my days like a zombie trying to find a purpose and i didn't even know why. I've been so restless, constantly moving and looking for people to entertain me. i used to be able to be alone but not lonely. i used to be able to sit somewhere(anywhere), take out my sketchbook and create some mediocre art for hours. i used to be able to listen to music and really listen without doing anything else. I used to STOP and LOOK and ENJOY.
today i saw something that reminded me of the passion that i once had; a strong passion for art, true beauty, and for the world in general. i guess GCSEs(which was quite a traumatizing experience, i might add) had rearranged my brains a bit. it had eroded the love and fire in me that had made me into an individual, and goddammit i want it back. and i'm getting it back.

close encounters of the taxi kind (i tried talking myself out of the lame title i really did)

Somewhere in the alternate universe where zits don't exist(or if they do, they have like reasons for existing), where the most mentally disturbed look like Natalie Portman, and where the curious case of Benjamin Button happens to everyone and isn't so curious (hint: it's Hollywood) we are given the false hope that taxi drivers could possibly look like this:

and eventually, this:

on second thought..

while in reality, or the Singapore version of reality at least, we are stuck with this:

photo from here

And I'm not complaining, really. Singaporean taxi drivers are as awesome a they could be. Being an expat I get the privilege of taking the taxi to school everyday for free(it's a long story), which means I get to see their crazy antics everyday, from the Rolling Stones fan to one who's Michael Jackson-o-phobic(this has got to be a real thing i mean come on), from the Rhoma Irama-wannabe to the Woody Allen look-alike, and from the aspiring singer to the literature nerd, which leads to my almost-daily tweets about #sgcabdrivers. Here are some examples of the interactions between me and taxi drivers:

(back story: i live in a themed condominium filled with life-size statues of animals)

taxi uncle #1: "which condo?"

me: "savannah"

#1: "the simei jew ah?"

me: "jew?"

#1: "ya simei jew got a lot animal one!"

me: "OOH zoo! yup"

#1: "ya lah the jew"

..

taxi uncle #2: "Waah this condo very interesting leh. You know what would make it better? Turn the animal statues into bobble heads just put some hinges there then at night can bobble like scary only *chuckles*"

..

taxi uncle #3: "which block?"

me: "51"

#3: "31?"

me: "no it's 51"

#3: "21?"

me: "51"

#3: "oooh 41"

(you think auction ah uncle??)

and then there were the very common ones who doubted my age...

taxi uncle #3: "you (secondary) what uh girl? sec 1? 2?"

me: "uum 4 actually"

#3: "REALLY?? WALAOOO CANNOT CANNOT! you sure or not? you so small where got sec 4! your mommy feed you or not?"

my race...

taxi uncle #4: "where you from? you look a bit indian leh"

me: "no i'm..."

#4: "you mix uh?"

me: "i'm just indonesian"

#4: "REALLY?? no lah you look like a mix of indian, eurasian, chinese, arabic, malay and a bit of thai"

me: "is that... possible?"

..

taxi uncle #5: *points at a random indian woman* "that's your mother uh?"

and, most bafflingly, my gender...

me: *steps into the cab*

taxi driver #6: "good morning, boy!"

there are also those who are more familiar than others with the Indonesian culture...

taxi uncle #7: "where are you from ah?"

me: "i'm from indonesia"

#7: "waaah really?? *pause* do i look like Rhoma Irama?"

i don't think anybody does...

and the disturbingly observant ones...

taxi uncle #8: "your teeth very white! very strong! you know you can persuade people to do anything by showing them your teeth!!"

and then there's this...

taxi driver #9: "girl have you ever tried pig's tail?"

me: "... no i don't think so"

#9: "you should try! it's good for your kidney!"

There were also those who were so genuinely sweet and interesting. One of them rocked out to Come On Eileen. Another one struck up a long conversation with me about his daughter, the book Great Expectations, and the Indonesian education system. Another one gave me some Life Advice with references to Cyndi Lauper's songs, which I fully appreciate. There was also one who gave me a long speech in a mix of Malay Language and Javanese, I didn't know what in the world it was about but I'm sure he was well-meaning. 

Lastly, because I am such a regular customer of the taxi company, comes taxi driver #10...

me: *steps into the cab*

taxi driver #10: "aah you going to simei rise, right?"

Holy shit I'm famous!